Saturday, January 16, 2016

VHS Memories XXXX: Special Interest

Just some random oddness for a lazy Saturday afternoon.  Welcome back into the video store of my mind.

While there were always the usual standby sections at the video store (action, horror, comedy, the adult section if nobody was looking), it was generally fun to take a chance in the special interest section.  Because really, what's cheaper?  Gambling on a possible waste of time that can easily be resolved by watching The Evil Dead and Death Wish 3 again, or going to Vegas?

This is mostly Star Trek stuff with some bloopers and some bits about some other sci-fi TV shows.  Basically your typical release from Simitar Video.  Cheap, dodgy picture and about as satisfying as hearing someone talk about eating a tasty meal.

Or maybe you're in the mood for some good old fashioned wrasslin'!

 We got mid 80's WWF!

 Late 80's WWF!

 Late 80's NWA!

 Or maybe disappointing yet at the time popular late 90's WCW is more your speed.

Or perhaps you just want to watch some old footage from the last company in the 80's the WWF crushed like a grape, the AWA!

Blooper tapes were generally good for a quick viewing with some brews and maybe a joint or two.  The beer is because late night viewing requires it.  The pot?  How the hell else are you going to find trucks crashing to the tune of wacky music and sound effects funny?  If you were sober, you probably wouldn't be watching monster truck footage in the first place!

The late 80's were a good time for the NBA and thanks to the fine folks at CBS/Fox Home Video, they let loose with a deluge of videos.  This is probably the best known, outside of the countless Lakers championship season tapes, Michael Jordan highlight reels and other assorted things.

 Fox also released the TV Pilot for that awful Spider-Man TV series from the late 70's.  Amazing?  Not really, no.

Ah, the simple joy of sitting on your ass watching cartoons.  Goofy sound f/x; funny animals, the most famous giant monster in film history stomping a beloved Disney character flat.  Good times.

This one is pretty solid as far as rock concert movies go.  It's not quite Pink Floyd's The Wall (that's more of a real movie whereas this just has weird interludes), but it's fairly solid.

Let's move on to some stuff that requires at least a case of beer, a start time no earlier than 11 pm and possibly some recreational pot.

This was a breast judging contest complete with celebrity panel.  Not really much I can say past that.  It sort of speaks for itself.

60 minutes of nonstop late 80's computer animation.  For when the monster truck bloopers become too banal.  to be fair, this is an award winning documentary but if you're watching it you're either a huge computer nerd or a stoner.

UFO documentaries are always good for a laugh or two.  I'll get more into that at a later date.

This is a pretty solid trailer compilation from Charles Band's Wizard Video.  Gore, nudity, violence, this one is quite the show.

Probably the ultimate midnight video rental.  This was a notorious documentary ostensibly about death and dying but really, it was pure exploitation in the purest sense.  Successful too.  It even generated several sequels.

Now all of the tapes seen so far are more or less late night viewing.  Either that or afternoon viewing when the parents are out of the house.  But for our last two titles, we'll be going a little more tasteful.  Something more innocuous.

You can go for class.

You can go for culture...

Or you could just get a 'workout' watching a Jane Fonda exercise tape!  Oh yes, I am going to hell for this one!

Workout videos had many things in common but a big one was that if you were a dude buying one, saying you were getting it for your mom as a birthday gift actually made it worse than if you just admitted what you were really gonna use it for.

Yeah, I'm a bad person.  At least I admit it!  I should probably try to balance things out a little, though.  Shouldn't I?

Let's see, already did the Linnea Quigley workout tape which actually would make this even worse so that's out.

Rock Video Girls documentaries?   No, that honestly makes the Linnea Quigley thing look like an episode of Touched by an Angel.

Ah, I've got it!

Gotta say, Jane rocks the workout gear better than Richard Simmons.  If nothing else, she doesn't wear alarmingly short shorts, make you listen to disco and cry incessantly while making a flaming ass of herself.  They both have good legs, though.

Once again, yes.  I am a bad person.

That's all for now, until next time...

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.