Thursday, March 19, 2015

American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1994)

I've covered prime Cannon era films but haven't really delved too deep into their late output.  As in what they were doing right as the doors were closing.  American Cyborg: Steel Warrior was one of their last films and in fact was their very last film to get a theatrical release.  Released in 1994, it is your basic garden variety post-apocalyptic action film about a lone warrior who must escort the last fertile woman on the planet across the wasteland while a cyborg emissary from their robot overlords tries to kill them.  It's rather frightening to think that it's entirely possible someone at the studio saw Hell Comes to Frogtown and thought "Let's cash in on that!" and then tossed in The Terminator for the hell of it.

Joe Lara plays our hero, Austin, your standard wasteland warrior who ends up protecting Mary (Nicole Hansen) from unstoppable cyborg John Ryan (not the Cannon regular known for hamming it up with relish, this is a British guy who sort of looks like him).  Their goal is to get her unborn fetus in a jar (No, I'm not making this up!  Stop looking at me like that!) to a ship bound for Europe where the after affects of World War III are slightly less crappy and really, that's about as much plot as there is.  There's a damn good reason this is a double feature post.

The bulk of the movie is given to non stop action scenes where the android fires off hundreds of rounds of ammo from his huge machine gun (where he gets all that extra ammo is a mystery that is not delved into) and the bad movie fan in me really wishes I would have seen this in the theater just so I could say I did.  I kind of feel the same way about that awful second Universal Soldier film from 1999.

We get tons of gun battles that are just as repetitious as those in the above mentioned Universal Soldier: The Return; radioactive cannibals, Joe Lara at his most blandly heroic, an odd twist where it turns out Lara is also a cyborg, this is one of those films you watch with a pizza and beer and forget as soon as you're done watching it.  While it's stupid fun (they don't release crap like this in theaters anymore), one does get the sense that at this point Cannon had just thrown up their collective hands and said "Okay, just end us!  We're ready to die!"  It's middle of the road crap with not much in the way of good acting or humor, but not in an entirely horrible way.

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.