Tuesday, July 22, 2014

1989: The Worst

When the films this year were good, they were very good.  When they were bad... Ugh!

While the first two movies were entertaining, genuinely good films, the third Karate Kid film is just inexplicably bad.  A dumb plot sees Daniel (Ralph Macchio) taken in by a cheesy, over the top bad guy played by Thomas Ian Griffith and turning against Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita).  The plot is nonsensical, the performances are arbitrary and the entire thing is just needless.

Speaking of pointless, it seems the fifth Police Academy film did well enough to warrant a sixth and it's... Whoo boy, it;s even sillier and more flat than the fifth.  The city is under siege and the good guys have to find out what's going on.  Michael Winslow is the best thing about the film which means that cheesy sound effects done entirely by one man's mouth are all this film has going for it. 
And yet, five years after this one, a seventh one came out.

For me, few things are worse than a film with a good cast and an interesting premise that proceeds to absolutely stink out the point.  Family Business is a horribly underwhelming caper film starring Dustin Hoffman, Sean Connery and Matthew Broderick as three generations of thieves.  Actually, given that Hoffman and Connery are fairly close in age, it's probably closer to two and a half.  Connery's character must have been hell in junior high.  I think Hoffman's age in The Graduate wasn't this much of a leap.  Either way, the three leads are wasted on a bad story with an needlessly tragic ending, which is a shock given that director Sidney Lumet usually does better films.

Robert Englund's directorial debut is this awful supernatural teen revenge flick about a put upon kid who gets access to Satan through one of those 976 numbers that used to be prevalent in the 80's.  Acting is horrible (Sandy Dennis proves with her turn as an overly religious mom that even Oscar winners can stink up the joint), the plot is predictable and poorly paced, really the f/x and the fascinating badness of Dennis' performance are the only things the film has going for it.  Still, you have to say that it's a rare film that has an Oscar winning actress praising the lord while wearing a huge fright wig and a nightgown while fish rain from the sky.

That's probably a good thing.

The fifth Nightmare on Elm Street film is a far cry from the over the top madness of the fou4rth.  Freddy is back again, this time trying to be reborn through the unborn child of the girl who defeated him in the previous film.  Some good f/x are really all there is to recommend here as the film has a rushed, unfinished quality to it that makes you wonder what the point of it was. 

Coming Soon: The Worst of 1989 Part 2

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.