Tuesday, June 3, 2014

1983: The Worst

Only three for the list, but oh man...

While the second Jaws film makes me chuckle with how bad it is, the third one, apart from a few choice moments, just bores me to tears.  Part of the early 80's 3-D boom, this finds Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr. trying to survive against a shark that is targeting Sea World (no, not the one with Shamu) in Miami.  There are some enjoyably cheesy 3-D bits such as the death of the shark but for the most part, the film is just a bore.  If it has been as jaw-droppingly dumb as the fourth one, it would have made my guilty pleasures list.

While some consider the fourth Superman film to be the worst, I feel the third one just barely ekes it out for that title.  Overly long, full of insipidly stupid comedy and some surprisingly bad f/x, the only scene that even remotely works is when Christopher Reeve ends up fighting himself after Superman has been poisoned by synthetic Kryptonite designed by Richard Pryor and he splits into Clark Kent and Evil Superman for a fight,.  It's actually a pretty good scene and it's a damn shame the rest of the film isn't as solid.  Richard Pryor is also wasted in a really, really dumb role.  Damn shame.

I don't know how, but this is actually not the worst Burt Reynolds/Hal Needham teaming*.  It's close, though as Burt is at his narcissistic worst as the title character, a NASCAR driver who ends up working for a crooked chicken restaurant owner played by Ned Beatty.  The film is a joyless, unfunny slog; nobody in the cast seems to want to be there and there is a rather creepy, unpleasant scene where Burt makes small talk with an unconscious, scantily clad Loni Anderson who he's gotten drunk.  It's just a staggeringly unfunny waste of time and money.

*It's a few minutes shorter than the worst one and actually has some semblance of a plot... Kinda.

Coming Soon: The Leftovers of 1983


  1. SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT 3 didn't make it?

    1. I actually tried to watch that once but could never get through it. Generally, I tend to not write about the film if I couldn't get through the whole thing.


About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.