Sunday, May 25, 2014

1994: The Worst

This will be brief.  Very painful, but brief.

Don't ask me why anyone thought a sequel was needed.  The first Major League is a good movie but goddamn, the sequel is just a dull and unfunny bore.  Did Charlie Sheen really need money for hookers that bad?  Was Heidi Fleiss charging extra that month?  What the hell?

Lame erotic thriller in an era chock full of them.  Bruce Willis is a psychiatrist with some serious guilt issues who gets called in to lead his friend's group therapy session.  Said friend ends up dead and it's up to Willis to determine which neurotic bag of crazy in the group did it.  Richard Rush, director of the underrated flick The Stunt Man, provides none of the stuff he brought to that movie.  Instead, we get a near complete lack of coherency or common sense, some dull sex scenes (really, anything after Basic Instinct is gonna feel lame) and a general air of stupidity surrounding it.
This is one that sort of annoys me in how bad it ended up.  Really, having guys from the original Star Trek and the Next Generation series in the same film should have been good but this ended up being just lame.  A vague science fiction plot device sucks Kirk up in the first fifteen minutes or so and he doesn't come back in until the last fifteen.  Between that we get a story that wouldn't have seemed out of place in the rather bland fifth season of the show.  Unfortunately, this is supposed to be a thrilling movie and the pacing is so lethargic that even the admittedly impressive ILM f/x can come off as sort of blah.  Add to that some bad comedy (shocking, given what comic geniuses tend to be found in this franchise) and one or two really bad bits of misplaced drama (I love Patrick Stewart to death but he should never be allowed to cry onscreen... ever) make this one of the lesser Trek films.

And this one is a film that legit pisses me off.  The first two Beverly Hills Cop films are great in their own unique ways.  The third one, however, is just unfunny, boring and you can tell that not a single solitary person involved with the film wanted to be doing it.  Axel Foley is back out west, now looking for the guy who killed his boss.  The usual crap ensues except with none of the enthusiasm or fun the first two films provided.  John Landis fails to get much out of anybody and the end result is the sort of movie that if you catch it at the wrong time will absolutely depress the hell out of you.

Coming Soon: The Best of 1994

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.