Tuesday, April 22, 2014

1993: The Worst

Not too much I consider outwardly horrible (most of the bad ones from this year make me laugh enough to rate them as guilty pleasures), but there are a few.

I honestly don't know who the hell thought the world needed a sequel to Stakeout.  The first movie is a solid enough buddy cop film and this one is essentially the same damn film, minus the sexy turn by Madeline Stowe who appears briefly towards the end and a different setup.  In her place, we get Rosie O'Donnell as an annoyingly perky ADA who insists on joining cops Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez on their latest assignment.  Said assignment involves a witness in a mob trial and our heroes trying to keep professional killer Miguel Ferrer from rubbing out said witness.

The chemistry between Dreyfuss and Estevez is just as fun as it was in the first one and Ferrer makes for a fun bad guy (in a nice twist, Dennis Farina appears but as the husband of the witness instead of his typical role) and there are some legit funny moments but O'Donnell just drags the whole enterprise down with a truly irritating performance.  It's not that she's always bad, her standup act was pretty strong and she was fine in A League of Their Own but here she just seems to get in the way.  Add to that John Badham's auto-pilot directing and the predictable script and you get one hell of a pointless flick.

Never let it be said that I let a movie being a huge hit jeep me from not liking it.  Mrs. Doubtfire is essentially a one joke movie stretched over 125 minutes.  Robin Williams plays a soon-to-be divorced father who decides to pose as an old lady housekeeper in order to stay close to his kids.  Pretty much everything about this movie annoys me in some way.  Robin Williams and Sally Field are insufferable (Williams is in full-on annoying improv guy mode and Field is just too unlikable for anyone to believe she landed a guy period, let alone one she's had three kids with).  The plot itself is poorly thought out (voice-over work for a guy as clearly talented as the Williams character is is hard to come by?) and while there are a few funny bits, there is no excuse for a comedy like this to be over two hours.  Hell, having it run over ninety minutes is pushing things a little.  It's not the worst thing ever but good lord, when the makeup f/x is the best part of your family comedy something is wrong.

While the sequels are enjoyable cheese, the first in the Leprechaun series is just a paint-by-numbers horror movie with an admittedly energetic performance by Warwick Davis as the title ghoul.  Jennifer Aniston is the only notable human character and that;s just because she ended up being famous later on but the rest of the cast is so bland it boggles the mind.  The film really is a showcase for Davis who acquits himself admirably, the rest of the film is crap.  Stick to the sequels.

Last Action Hero is my pick for worst of the year, mainly because by all rights it should have been damn good and in my book a good idea ruined is worse than something that wasn't too hot an idea to begin with.  The premise is neat (action film fan gets sucked into an action movie), Arnold is fine and the humor is about what it should be but the way the story plays out just shoots the film right to hell.  The biggest problem is the kid.  Not Austin O'Brien's performance, though he is pretty annoying, but rather the writing of the role.  Just from a common sense standpoint, if you were a kid sucked into an action movie, would you really spend most of your time trying to convince your hero he's a work of fiction and not real?  I don't know how but that pisses me off even more now than it did when I was a teen watching the movie for the first time!  Add to that the rather obnoxious marketing campaign and the oddly depressing tone the film has during the "real world" scenes and you end up with a really huge disappointing misfire of a movie.

Coming soon: Guilty Pleasures

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.