Some assorted tidbits for your post-holiday enjoyment.
Enjoyable TV movie that saw the return of the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno version of The Incredible Hulk to the small screen. Dr. Banner is back, looking as always for a cure to his rather impressive anger management issues and he ends up teaming with fellow hero Thor to beat up some baddies led by b-movie staples Tim Thomerson and Charles Napier. It's a little flat (as tends to be the case when you try to do a superhero thing on a TV movie budget) but the stuff with Hulk and Thor is amusing enough to warrant a viewing.
Probably the first really huge major event series for Marvel Comics, this takes a bunch of superheros (Spiderman, The Fantastic Four and a bunch of X-Men and Avengers) and pits them against a bunch of villains on an alien planet. Great artwork, some cool action and a pretty neat story make Secret Wars an easy pick-up for Marvel fans and fans of epic storytelling in general.
There have been a lot of good Star Wars games but against all odds, this one has ended up being my favorite. Combining the simple childhood joy of LEGO and the great fun of the original Star Wars trilogy, this is a great looking game with a nice sense of humor, fun action and great controls. It's just plain fun and really, when you sit down to a video game that's really all you want. Isn't it?
This Wes Craven-directed sequel is actually quite terrible (a series of flashbacks to the first film are fine but even the dog that survived gets one. WTH?) but for some ungodly reason, I find it entertaining. A team of young dirt bike riders end up in the desert this time and are menaced by a shockingly still alive Michael Berryman (his character apparently can shake off a snake bite and fall from a cliff which is impressive, I will admit) and the gigantic mutant brother of the main bad guy from the first film who is called only The Reaper. Craven directs things well enough but his heart isn't in it and it shows. The climax is rather nice in a 80's "let's just blow stuff up" sort of way and the Final Girl being blind is also an interesting touch. Still, The Hills Have Eyes Part II is pretty damn bad.
Next up, before we move on to our main course, I'd like to share two rather cheesily wonderful VHS sleeves I came across.
Now granted, Godzilla vs. Megalon is pretty cheesy by itself but this cover makes it even more so. I especially like that Megalon is ten times more flexible in the front cover than he is in the movie itself.
This one though takes the cake. Not often you see purported word killer Ghidrah looking that goofy (at least not before getting his contractual curb-stomping from Godzilla at the end of whatever movie he flies into) and I also love the "For kids only" stamp on the front.
And now we finish one of my favorite Stephen King offerings.
The comic book version of Creepshow is a beautifully drawn piece of work that lovingly recreates the movie in comic form. Stephen King's stories are interpreted fantastically by Berni Wrightson and you can tell just how much both author and artist love the old EC Comics. Creepshow is one of my favorite horror films and this adaptation is one of my favorite comic books.
Back to my look at 70's Sean Connery, our next subject is the 1979 heist film The Great Train Robbery. Written and directed by Michael Crichton (who also wrote the novel), it stars Sean and Donald Sutherland as two British thieves (Pierce and Agar, respectively) who plot to steal a large amount of gold taken being used to finance the Crimean War.
Based loosely on events that occurred in 1855, the film is a dryly funny caper film with a clever heist plan, engaging comic performances from Connery and Sutherland and deft direction from Crichton who keeps things moving fairly well.
The overall production is quite effective with a great period setting, a fun Jerry Goldsmith score and some good tension towards the end as Pierce climbs around the top of the train while trying to pull off the heist.
While all this is well and good, the film really soars whenever Connery and Sutherland are on screen. Both have a fairly decent amount of comic chemistry and in the case of Connery, we find a wonderfully deft light comic role well played by an old pro. Sutherland has one or two nice bits too, as does Lesley-Anne Down as Pierce's mistress and accomplice.
Despite some slight pacing issues, The Great Train Robbery is a fun, entertaining romp that is a fine piece of light entertainment. The planning of the caper is laid out quite nicely and the payoff is gleefully enjoyable. I definitely recommend you check this one out.
Robert Rodriguez' Mariachi Trilogy wraps up with this fun, though in some ways disappointing epic that sees Antonio Banderas returning as an even more mythic version of the lead character. This time, he's brought in by FBI agent Sands (Johnny Depp) to kill an old rival who has ties to a drug runner trying to gain control of Mexico. As tends to be the case, things get complicated and Rodriguez leaves no stops un-pulled in this twist-laden action flick.
As one would expect, the film is full of style and good action but what really makes it fun is the cast. Banderas is cool as usual as the hero but Depp is the real star of the show. Sands is just hilarious, slimy and conniving but also viciously competent when it comes to killing. It's a real enjoyable turn and I'd say it's even better than Depp's other 2003 action role in Pirates of the Caribbean.
The rest of the cast is fun too with good turns from Willem DaFoe as the drug runner Barillo (for me, it's always a good sign when the man keeps his damn clothes on as he does here); Mickey Rourke as an associate of his, Danny Trejo as a nasty piece of work named Cucuy and Ruben Blades as a retired federal officer with a grudge against Barillo. Eva Mendes is also on hand as a treacherous cop who turns out to be Barillo's daughter as is Cheech Marin as an informant for Sands.
Really, the only huge disappointment for me with this film is the criminal lack of Salma Hayek for most of the movie. Scheduling conflicts led to her role sadly being a cameo in flashback but she does get one or two nice moments.
This all comes together fairly well, though the plot is probably a little too intricate for its own good. Still, Rodriguez keeps things moving and the film is over the top enough to be entertaining as hell. It's not as good as the first two but is does offer enough bang for one's buck.
John Woo's career stateside was sort of mixed bag. His debut, Hard Target, was okay and Broken Arrow is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine but his one indisputable great American action movie is Face/Off. John Travolta is FBI agent Sean Archer, obsessed to the point of neglecting his family with taking down ruthless criminal Castor Troy (Nicolas Cage) who accidentally killed his son right in front of him.
After a fantastic shootout at an airstrip, he finally nabs the villain and outs him in a coma but then has to track down a he bomb Troy has planted in Los Angeles. Since this is an over the top action film, he takes an offer from some colleagues to go deep undercover to get info from his imprisoned brother... as Troy. Doing do requires a face transplant and in one of the better sequences in the film, we see the procedure complete with some nice f/x work from Kevin Yagher. This is the sort of over the top plot idea I love and here, it;s done very well. It's silly, it's unrealistic but nevertheless is works.
Naturally, things can't go easy so Troy wakes up from his coma and naturally wants a face so he takes Archer's. The rest of the film is a real treat as we see Travolta playing Cage and vice versa. It's almost to the point where the great action scenes are an added bonus. Both lead actors do a nice job of emulating each other without lapsing into a simple impression of the other. Though it probably helps that they have similar acting styles (start with some level of realism and then add ham as needed).
The rest of the cast is pretty good too with highlights being Joan Allen as Archer's wife and Gina Gershon as Troy's girlfriend.
The action is, as one would expect from a John Woo film, top notch and full of style. The finale is a great boat chase that looks like something out of a James Bond film and the fight at the end between Cage and Travolta is nicely brutal. There is a little cheese, Woo does tend to go overboard with some of his stuff but honestly, that's all part of the fun.
Face/Off was the second half of a nice one-two punch for Cage in 1997 with Con Air being the first. Both films are nice, huge hunks of ridiculous action fun and it still holds up fairly well today. Good stuff.
Sean Connery has always been one of my favorite actors. Not just for James Bond (though that plays a huge part) but also for the sheer awesome randomness of his choice of roles outside the 007 films. While the role brought him fame and fortune, it also left him feeling somewhat typecast, a trend he fought like hell to avoid until the late 80's when he morphed into more of a character actor.
In the 70's though, he was hell bent on showing he could do other things. This led to some rather interesting choices, several of which I will be covering. And just for the sake of clarity, sometimes interesting means exactly that. Sometimes it means "totally insane".
Let's start with one of his better ones.
Before he gave us the fantastic Conan the Barbarian, John Milius directed this fun adventure based loosely on an actual incident that occurred in 1904. Like Connery's other film from 1975, The Man who Would be King, The Wind and the Lion is a spirited adventure film along the lines of old fashioned Hollywood epics.
Sean plays Raisuli, a Moroccan Berber chieftain who kidnaps the Pedicaris family (Candice Bergen as the mother Eden and her two children) in order to embarrass the sitting Sultan he doesn't much care for in the hopes a civil war will erupt and dethrone the man. President Theodore Roosevelt (Brian Keith) chooses to use the incident as a way to not only show off American military power but also bolster his reelection campaign and the end result is a nicely epic bit of adventure filmmaking with one foot dangling in reality (as in the Connery character was a real person who kidnapped someone on Teddy Roosevelt's watch) and high adventure (pretty much everything else, including the Bergen character and her kids) with some political shenanigans ensue.
For the most part, the film is an engaging, nicely paced adventure with some good work from Keith as Roosevelt (he damn near steals the whole movie), John Huston as the president's aide and of course, Connery is great. His natural charisma and magnetic personality do wonders for the part, especially considering that at the end of the day you are watching a 6'2 Scotsman playing a Moroccan desert warrior. He's also given some very funny bits of dialogue which he delivers with a nice enthusiasm. Most of his post-Bond work sees him giving fairly relaxed performances, especially here. It's fairly obvious he was glad to be done with Bond and his enthusiasm goes a long way in making the film work as well as it does.
Really, the only weak link (and even then it's not a deal breaker) is Candice Bergen. While she is very easy on the eyes, she overplays her role just a tad more than I would prefer. And yes, I realize that saying this about an actor in a movie with Sean Connery and Brian Keith as the most intensely macho president in American history is odd but she's not quite up to the task. Her stuff with Connery isn't bad but it's the usual Stockholm Syndrome stuff that tends to pop up in this sort of film.
That aside, John Milius directs the whole thing with his usual boisterous, sly flair. He gives us sweeping vistas, exciting battles and some very impressive stunts. The film fits nicely with his ultra macho personality and apart from Conan, it's his best work.
The Wind and the Lion is a rousing, old fashioned movie (both in terms of style and politics given the director) with some good performances, a sly sense of humor and some nicely mounted action scenes. Sean Connery is in top form, the Jerry Goldsmith score is equally good and if you like old fashioned adventure flicks, you can do a hell of a lot worse than this. It's just good fun.
What better way to kick off the new version of the blog than with a redux of one of
the first reviews I ever posted here. The Expendables is
an amazingly fun throwback to the glory days of action
films where the macho nonsense was laid on thick, the violence was
excessive to the point of hilarity and by the end pretty much anything
that could be blown up real good met with that fate.
plays Barney Ross, a mercenary who heads a team that includes Lee
Christmas (Jason Statham), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) Yin Yang (Jet Li),
Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren).
plot is a favorite of mine when it comes to cheesy action movies, the
good guys have to overthrow a sadistic Central American dictator. Here,
the dictator, one General Garza (David Zayas) is being funded by Munroe
(Eric Roberts), a former CIA operative who is assisted by Dan Paine
(Stone Cold Steve Austin) and The Brit (Gary Daniels).
and company are put onto the job by a shadowy man named Mr. Church
(Bruce Willis) and in a wonderfully amusing scene; Ross takes the job
after it’s rejected by a fellow mercenary played by Arnold
Schwarzenegger. Yep, the three big names from 80’s action are in one
scene together and it’s great! Hell, even with the three teaming in the sequel and the recent Escape Plan with Sly and Arnie, it's still a fun scene.
movie kicks off with a nice action scene with the team taking down some pirates that ends with
Jensen being kicked out of the group for being an unstable nut job.
Other action highlights include a hilariously over the top scene
Stallone and Statham in a plane that sees Statham getting into a gun
turret mounted on the nose of the plane and the wonderfully excessive
climax that has enough gunfire, flames, blood and carnage for two
movies. How can you not love a movie that ends with a huge bomb (as in
the type usually dropped from planes) is thrown (Terry Crews may
actually be from Krypton) at an escaping helicopter and shot at in order
to create a massive explosion?
We also get some fun hand-to hand stuff during the climax as Statham and Li fight The Brit (the double team move they use to kill the guy is great); a nicely brutal punch-up between Stallone and Stone Cold and another good one with Austin and Randy Couture that ends rather badly for The Texas Rattlesnake.
are simply not enough words to describe how much I love this movie.
The performances are great across the board (Eric Roberts is especially good as his usual slimy villain) and I should give a special
mention to Mickey Rourke at this point. He has a supporting role as a
former member of Stallone’s team and serves as the team’s weapons
supplier. In a rather neat, inspired moment, he is given time to
reminisce about a mission he was on that stuck with him. It’s a
wonderfully done moment that is great because it is so out of
place. Sure, Stallone tries to tie it in with his character’s
psychology but come on... You come to a movie like this for loads of
action, not psychological complexity.
Plus, it sort of fits with old school Stallone as he usually tries to put stuff like this in most of his scripts, usually to mixed results.
About the only real gripe I have is the rather dodgy CGI used in place of blood squibs and the editing is a little too frenetic considering the era the movie is trying to replicate. Great
flick though and Rourke is great in his scenes. I highly recommend
this movie for anyone who either was around for this type of movie when
it was the norm or wants to know just how great action movies used to
be. Watching this in the theater was like going back in time and the sequels are even better... Well, the second one is at any rate.
The Fifth Element is a gorgeous looking, fast paced, exciting adventure marred only by one really bad casting decision. Directed by French action specialist Luc Besson, it stars Bruce Willis as Korben Dallas, a cab driver in the year 2263 who must help a strange but powerful young woman (cloned from a alien being who can harness the forces of the four basic elements to form a fifth) stop an ancient evil that appears every 5000 years and tries to destroy the world.
The story is pure escapism, laid out with a light and humorous touch that throws in some rather nice emotional bits while still maintaining that fun tone that makes the film worthwhile. From the prologue in 1914 Egypt (complete with cool aliens) to the effects laden finale, the film moves at a breathless pace. There is an immense amount of exposition we have to absorb but, as with Big Trouble in Little China, it is delivered in a fast and fairly funny manner that lets you get all the really important stuff. If you miss a detail and you dug the film, that is what repeat viewings are for. If not, well, it's sort of a moot point then.
The cast acquits itself quite nicely with Willis turning in a lighter version of his usual hard ass routine; Milla Jovovich is good and actually quite effective as the genetically engineered young woman who is the only one who can stop the evil and Gary Oldman hams it up to no end as the bad guy, complete with out of place Southern drawl. Ian Holm is also fun as the priest who has the job of delivering the bulk of the exposition. The cheesy movie fan in me also loves having Brion James and Tiny Lister in the same movie.
Really the only casting issue is Chris Tucker as a radio host who tags along with the heroes. Tucker is just grating here, doing a shrill motormouth routine that honestly makes one long for the subtle humor of Jar-Jar Binks. He's not an entirely bad performer and I've seen him be good in other things (his shtick in Jackie Brown later in the year works just fine) but he just drags every scene he's in down just a little.
That aside, the film is pretty damn great both visually and in terms of overall entertainment. Besson creates a fantastically rich future world, sort of a lighter and happier Blade Runner with tons of detail (it's a wonder what modern filmmaking techniques can bring... or 1997 techniques in this case) and a nicely unique but familiar look that is pretty damn appealing. Action is good too, as are the creature designs. It's not anything really deep (and honestly, 127 minutes might be a tad longer than it needed to be) but it sure as hell gets the job done.
Apart from the one casting snafu, The Fifth Element is a visually rich, very entertaining bit of popcorn filmmaking with some well placed notes about humanity (it is, after all, a science fiction piece) and a fun cast. It's not perfect (some feel it's a modern classic though I wouldn't go that far) but it's certainly a fine way to spend two hours.
I've covered the George Romero zombie flicks and Nightmare on Elm Street VHS sleeves, now it's time to go down south for some "special" BBQ and some other slasher goodies. We got three trips through Texas (the fourth movie never happened) so let's get moving!
Let's start with some Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Sorry about the blurriness, it's the largest clean image I could find.
First off is the great early release from Charles Band's Wizard Video (more to come from that label). Wizard also put out a video game based on the film as well as one based on Halloween. Both were pretty bad from what I've read.
This one, however, is probably my favorite as seeing it in The Wherehouse (probably, it could have just as easily been one of the small mom and pop stores I grew up near) the first time I ever heard of the film. That picture of Leatherface is just awesomely intimidating and hell, Media Home Video was awesome anyhow.
Come to think of it, I think the reversed image from the budget tape might be even better. Darker lighting, Leatherface looking even more demented... Very cool.
This one is equally cool, though it does just use the film poster image. Like the quote on the back, though.
Finally for the first film, two offerings from K-Tel. They put out one for Night of the Living Dead as well.
The second one is pretty neat, using an image from the Australian VHS release. UK and Australian releases were generally pretty cool as well. Speaking of which...
The UK version of Hospital Massacre, a cheesy Cannon Films slasher from 1982 I cover4ed in my 1982 series. A picture collage isn't the most creative thing you will ever see, but it does give an idea of what the film is about.
Back to the saw, here's the Media cover for the second film I always had a soft spot for...
And the alternate bargain tape from Video Treasures.
Before they flooded the market with DVD special editions of things you never knew you sort of had to own (I bought the DVD of Hell Comes to Frogtown of my own free will), Anchor Bay had some rather nice extra-laden VHS tapes, such as this one which gave the viewer the trailer and some deleted scenes.
The film stinks but the cover art and tagline are fantastic. I think that may have been one of the battle cries for the VHS era, actually. Well, if you tended to binge rent like me and weren't that picky.
Maybe it's just my warped sense of humor (as usual, the answer is yes, it is), but I love that the decidedly average (Generous feller, ain't I?) third Texas Chainsaw Massacre outing had not one but two VHS releases stateside. First was the Columbia one from before New Line had its own label...
Cool that the New Line release was the uncut, though still kind of crappy version.
To wrap things up, a little from, good old Friday the 13th. Their English language releases tended to be simple re-dos of the poster artwork, as you can see with the Part 6 one (my favorite tape of the series, incidentally). Sometimes, though, you would get something a little out there.
This beauty is the German release of the third film (I think the theatrical release got the same art). I think there is only one proper way to respond to this thing. Holy scheiss!
I generally don't care much for the more current direct to DVD action movies but this one from Canada caught my eye. Stone Cold Steve Austin is the leader of a wild LAPD SWAT unit whose idea of sound tactics include chucking a frozen steak at a bad guy's head, shooting one with a Daisy Air Rifle and simply opening a giant can of whupass, as we see in the opening action scene where they rescue hostage from a grocery store.
They are given the required ass-chewing from, their boss and sent to brush up on their training out at a warehouse where it just so happens two rival gangs have a dispute over stolen goods. Naturally, the good guys need to improvise their way to victory since they only have blank ammo and of course, much mayhem ensues.
Performances are more or less what you'd expect with Stone Cold turning in a nicely laid back badass performance; Michael Jai White is pretty fun as another team member and the other two (Steve Bacic and personal fave Lexa Doig) are decent enough as well. Well, okay, I was mainly focusing on Doig and the other guy gets killed about thirty minutes in. What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute Canadian ladies who tend to show up on cheesy Canadian lensed sci-fi shows. Michael Shanks is also pretty fun as a bad guy.
Tactical Force is an agreeable enough, really stupid, ridiculous action comedy with a decent amount of humor and loads of action. Steve Austin and Michael Jai White are also a pretty solid action hero unit and Lexa Doig is... Well, she's pretty at least. Barely does anything in the film, though.
Overall the film is worth checking out, though it does get a little repetitious and there are some needless editing touches (slow motion when none is needed accompanied by a loud whooshing sound) that sort of grate. The twist at the end is also quite dumb as a supposedly dead snitch the baddies are chasing turns out to be an undercover FBI agent. Still, it's a solid enough meat and potatoes action film.
This one is gonna be a king-sized edition simply due to the amount of stuff this company put out. Probably the best of the bargain labels, Goodtimes was started in 1984 with some public domain titles and eventually would up putting out tons of animated films, TV movies, stuff from Columbia, Universal and other companies and a bunch of documentaries. Here is but a mere sampling of their wares with remarks wherever I am inspired.
We kick off with some genre classics...
Classic monster movies...
Low key gems (great monster in this one, even if it does make the rather nicely ambiguous story more overtly supernatural).
They also put out legit award winners...
Middle of the road Hammer films.
Disaster movies with overly enthusiastic banners touting them as classics...
And overrated Chuck.
I rather like the cheesy artwork on some of their tapes. For instance...
Early Spielberg done by early Photoshop.
Lots of Japanese monster movies...
And here is where it gets weird. And by weird, I mean wonderfully esoteric.
In the 80's, this man became a sensation. Might have something to do with the rise in cocaine usage but that's purely speculation on my part.
Or at the very least claim to in order to avoid hurting Grandma's feelings.
Actually, this was a 1992 adaptation of the Hans Christian Andersen story, one of many animated films Goodtimes put out to capitalize on more successful theatrical releases.
The thing I love about the bargain labels is that they'd get the rights to the most bizarre, obscure crap possible at times. To finish things off, here are a few of the more amusing ones I've come across.
Trailer compilations are always good for a chuckle or two. I remember one time snagging a compilation of James Bond trailers along with another 007-centric tape I have no recollection of
I wonder if Godzilla phoned his agent after seeing this and gave him hell for letting him take third billing after Gorgo and Rodan. Nah, probably just stepped on him.
Celebrity bloopers and commercial tapes were generally a sign that
you were either at your grandparent's house, or they were at yours and
had gotten stumped on what to give you for your birthday.
They also put out whatever TV movies were left over after all the other companies had said "No way in hell are we charging ten bucks for this piece of crap!"
Goodtimes was an awesome label that delivered just that, good times.