Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Licensed Video Games

I'm not really an avid gamer (the last system I owned was a Super Nintendo and I take an unreasonable amount of pride in having mastered the Nintendo 64 controller in 2004 or so, at the expense of the sanity of one of my cousins.

Having said that, I've played my fair share of video games based on hit movies (as in a bunch of stuff before 1995) plus one or two more recent ones.  So here it is, the good the bad and the ugly of my licensed gaming travels.

 Let's start off with a few that are good, though I never beat the damn things.

 A legend of 16 bit gaming, this is also one of the most horrifically difficult games I have ever tried to play.  I also has just regular Star Wars for the Gameboy and good lord, I think trying to beat it may have given me some sort of mental disorder.

 Had the non-super version of this on Gameboy as well and I have never made it past the Hoth levels on either version.

 Ditto for this one, though it's a very enjoyable game to play.

 I actually like this one quite a bit as it puts the first three movies into one giant game (something I always thought would have been cool for the James Bond series to do) and it's actually quite awesome providing you like the 16 bit era.  I made it to the very last level but never quite pulled it off.  Still, a damn fine game and you get to play Harrison Ford.

 This actually surprised me as I didn't really care for the film but the game is a pretty nice (though really long) shoot-em-up.  Bonus points for playing Kurt Russell which is just cool.  It gets a little repetitious but the bad guys are pretty easy to kill (your character is basically nearly impossible to kill) and it's a pretty decent challenge.

Equally challenging but nowhere near as fun are these two games based off of mid-90's Stallone flicks.  I'd mention the Cliffhanger game, but I never played more than thirty seconds of the thing before giving up.

 The first level of this is actually pretty entertaining.  The rest of the game I've seen... Well, the first level is okay.

 This one is just a royal pain in the ass to play.  That is all I have to say about it, really.

Next we have a prime example of how to do a good movie to game adaptation and how not to do one.

 This is a fantastic, difficult but manageable, fun game that sticks to the film and is a hell of a lot of fun to play.  Hell, it even holds up today.

 This however, is a steaming pile of excrement.

 I don't why but for some reason, I played this a lot when I was a kid.  It was fairly decent, as far as Gameboy games go.

 Let's go for something a little more recent (a ten year old game still counts in this case) with this pretty acceptable 007 first-person-shooter.  The missions are okay (but really repetitive after a while) and while there are some fun shootouts the last level is just a royal pain to try and beat.  I had the PC version and after beating it once or twice, I just used the three or four levels I actually enjoyed to blow off steam after a bad day at work.

 This one is actually a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine (as is the one below) as while both of these games are decent, the regular film adaptation is a little too easy to beat (my best time was about thirty minutes I think) and the arcade version is too hard to beat.


 And now, I have to vent about a really, really, horrible piece of garbage.

 This is maybe the worst thing I have ever tried to play in my entire life.  Confusing, virtually impossible to play, the fact that the Gameboy version is better is the worst thing I can say about it.  And that version sucks, believe me.  I played it a lot, I know.  Just awful.

With that being said, here's my favorite SNES game of all time.

There are so many things about this admittedly bland shooter that are hilarious it just boggles the mind.,  The Arnold sprite is funny (it looks like Arnie hit Dunkin' Donuts for a week before the game starts), you get some hilariously overdone blood pools after you kill a bad guy (and there are tons of them) and the ending is a bit of a cop-out as you have to just kill this guy weilding two machine guns and then you get digitized screens from the end of the actual film.  Honestly, the best way to play this is to use the cheat codes that give you invincibility and unlimited ammo.  That way, you're genuinely emulating a Schwarzenegger film!

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About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.