Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Gymkata (1985)

And here we are with the greatest movie Cannon Films never made.  Yes, incredibly enough, this gigantic slice of cheese was not made by the B movie juggernaut but rather by Enter the Dragon director Robert Clouse.

The rather ridiculous plot revolves around world class gymnast Johnathan Cabot (played woodenly by world class gymnast Kurt Thomas) who is recruited to take part in "The Game", a deadly challenge in the fictional country of Parmistan that has strategic value to the U.S.

The game itself is essentially an obstacle course only with b-movie staple Richard Norton in pursuit on horseback with an army of ninjas.  And yes, it is just as awesome as it sounds.  Cabot goes through a rather amusing training sequence before traveling to Parmistan, finding time to fall in love with the daughter of the country's ruler.  there are some twists and turns along the way but eventually, the duo makes it to Parmistan.

From there, it's non-stop cheesy action as Cabot repeatedly finds ways to beat the crap out of assorted bad guys by using his gymnastics training.  The highlight comes at the end as he is trapped in a town full of all the crazy people exiled from the main city where he just happens to find a pommel horse from which he can kick ass with more comfort and style.

This is one of the great "so bad it's great" movies of the 80's.  Kurt Thomas isn't much of an actor but he's decent enough in the fight scenes and Richard Norton is always fun to watch.  The fight scenes are pretty damn good with some hilariously loud sound effects that just enhance the movie even more.

With all of the exposition in the first five minutes, the film is basically all action and no B.S., clocking in at just under 90 minutes.  It's truly something you have to see for yourself as mere words cannot do it justice.  There's so much more bizarre strangeness: Parmistan itself with it's bizarre customs and blend of different cultures could fill up at least six or seven pages, truly one of the oddest settings for a movie I have ever seen.

Just trust me, it's easy to find and cheap.  You won't be disappointed.

1 comment:

  1. Can't agree more! Gymkata is a 80s classic. Love the random bars and pommel-horses....thankfully Parmistan had those hanging around in the town square.


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I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.