Saturday, March 24, 2012

VHS Memories XXIV: Cornucpoia Grab Bag 5

Here's a random selection of randomly selected random titles...

Selected randomly.

On the downward slide after On Deadly Ground, this was the last Seagal flick to get a theatrical release until 2001's Exit Wounds.  Seagal plays an EPA investigator who is looking into toxic waste disposal in the mountains.  There isn't nearly enough action, Kris Kristofferson is on auto-pilot as the bad guy and overall it's a very bland viewing experience.

Finally got around to seeing this after...Well, there isn't really a good reason to seek out this one and I have no excuse apart from being a big Nicolas Cage and Tommy Lee Jones fan.  this is a fairly bland Top Gun knockoff that subs helicopters for airplanes, Cage for Tom Cruise and about twenty minutes less screen time for less plot and character development.  It doesn't really pick up until the last twenty minutes but Jones is entertaining as always as the gruff trainer.

Don't really recall much about this thriller as I saw it as part of one of my high school rental binges that usually saw me skipping to the end of half the crap I rented but it probably concerns Busey as a psycho...who hides in a house...I got nothing else on this one.  I just wanted to fill out the article, really.

 I have a strange, grudging affection for this crummy Joe Don Baker vehicle.  Yes, it's quite bad with an unlikable lead and a bad script but for some ungodly reason I find the MST3K version to be oddly enjoyable on its own.  Guess I'm just really, really easy.

This is a very good, sadly underrated entry in the Exorcist series that features a typically great George C. Scott performance as well as a show stealing turn from Brad Dourif.  The only real problem the film has is the last twenty minutes which see it go from a thoughtful, chilling horror movie to just your standard f/x spectacle.  Still, it's well worth tracking down.

Oh dear God, is this a stinker!  Made in the early 80's, it is ostensibly a Star Wars spoof with added sex appeal from the tragically murdered Dorothy Stratten but it just falls flat thanks to a horrid script with zero laughs, a plot that doesn't actually get moving until about fifty minutes into the 94 minute running time and pacing that makes the average Bergman movie look overproduced.  The only nice thing I can say here is that the Chris Walas creatures look good.

And since we just talked about the most recent bad movie I've seen, we'll end things with the first truly bad movie I ever saw.  It's a rather infamous flop, as it came on the heels of producer Dino DeLaurentiis's expensive King Kong remake.  There are other places on the web that have done better reviews of this so I'll just focus on my own experience of the movie.  First off, get a load of that great poster!  That's what hooked me when I was a kid, reading my brother's comic books...that damn poster.  Sure, it's the best thing in the whole damn movie but what can I say?  I was eight!

I finally got to see the movie one lazy weekend afternoon at my grandparents house.  Even at ten, it still stunk.  Maybe I have better taste than I think...


1 comment:

  1. Firebirds is a lot of silly fun. "I'm the greatest!!!"

    Also got to love Mitchell with or without MST3K.


About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.