Sunday, March 6, 2011
Bloodstone is a little known obscurity from director Dwight (Halloween 4) Little and producer/writer Nico Mastorakis that is two parts Romancing the Stone and one part Raiders of the Lost Ark. Brett Stimely and Anna Nicholas (I've never heard of them either) play Sandy and Stephanie, newlyweds in India who get involved in the search for a rare ruby known as the Bloodstone.
They go up against an allegedly sinister, horribly overplayed villain in the form of British ham Christopher Neame. Neame is the go-to guy when every other actor in the UK is either busy or not interested. He's never met a scene he couldn't destroy with his horrific overacting, as anybody who has put themselves through Hellbound will tell you. Seriously, the man might be okay if he was a stage performer but on screen he;'s absolutely terrible.
Also on hand are a shady cab driver (Rajni Kanth) and Charlie Brill as Ramesh, a bumbling police inspector. Kanth is pretty good in his role but Brill is somewhat more problematic. A graduate of the Jerry Lewis school of comedy (literally), Brill does a rather low rent Inspector Clouseau routine only with a bit of makeup to make him look like a man from India and a cheesy accent that sounds more like one of the Shmenge Brothers from SCTV than anything else. Amazingly enough, he manages to wring one or two mild chuckles out of the material. Then again, I am easily entertained so I might be off base here.
Honestly, the best thing about the movie is that it moves along at a pretty good pace. Dwight Little has done quite a few decent movies such as Rapid Fire and Marked for Death and he brings a certain level of quality the script can't provide, nor can the relatively weak performances from the leads. If you're wondering why I haven't mentioned them, well, that's just how unmemorable they are.
I can't really recommend this unless you really enjoy a cheesy adventure movie. The best I can say is that in terms of film making, it's better than those two Allan Quatermain films Cannon put out around the same time but nowhere near as fun.
Still, for a low budget action film from the late eighties it's a perfectly agreeable time killer. Just don't expect to be up for a second viewing afterwards.
If nothing else, that damned cover is really cool.