Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Visitor (1979)

As I think I've shown on the blog several times, I love Italian genre films from the 70's and 80's. From oddball sci-fi to cheesy action to gory horror, those wacky Italians just do genre films in a way that makes me smile no matter how crappy the film ends up being. For your enjoyment, here is one of the most bizarre ones you are likely to find.

The Visitor is an utterly bizarre yet fascinatingly bad (in a good way, as opposed to Batman vs. Superman) melange of several other films is one you really have to see to believe. John Huston is a kindly old man with cosmic powers (who is apparently God with Franco Nero in an un-credited role as a Jesus stand-in) who heads up an army of bald kids who can turn into doves in order to fight an evil force in the form of an eight year old girl who has a killer falcon for a pet and is destined to bring about the . Like I said, it's the sort of film you need to see to believe, and even then you might be left wondering what the hell the waitress at the diner put in your coffee.

The rest of the cast (save for Shelly Winters who I've never liked, thankfully she's only in a few scenes) is good too with Lance Henriksen in an early role as a bad guy and the kid playing the little girl is rather awesome in a way. At one point she "innocently" cripples her mother at her birthday party with an errant gunshot (I'd say it makes sense in context but I'm not sure it does) and the reaction shot this kid gives is a priceless mixture of "Whoops!" with a resigned shrug thrown in as well. Come to think of it, every time she ends up killing someone (which tends to be quite often) is darkly hilarious. Glenn Ford is also fun as a hard-boiled cop looking into the wave of violence that seems to follow this kid around and he gets a really good death scene. It happens a little earlier than one would expect, but them's the breaks I guess.

Add to that the bombastic music score that doesn't fit the film at all, a plot that takes Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, The Exorcist and a few others and smashing them together and you get a one of a kind film they just don't make anymore. I'd give more details, but this really is the sort of film you should go into with as little info as you8 can muster. It makes the bizarre stuff a little easier to take.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

The Orion Files: 1995 and Beyond

The last days of Orion saw them emerge from bankruptcy in 1996 along with being merged with a few other companies by Metromedia before being assimilated into MGM (an ironic fate given what would happen to that company). Not covering all the films from this period as most of them aren't really worth mentioning. I will, however, end things with a bit of a bang.

Sort of.

Actually, it's more like the bang you get from a slightly damp firecracker that you put next to the heater in the bathroom for a few minutes...

No, I'm not stalling!

After two small releases in 1995, Orion started 1996 off with this thriller that somehow has spawned a few direct to video sequels. Tom Berenger plays a former soldier who goes undercover as a substitute teacher as his local inner city high school. As formulaic as you can imagine, this sort of reminds me of a 1987 thriller in a similar vein called The Principal that starred Jim Belushi and Louis Gossett Jr.

An urban action film that reunites a bunch of 70's stars like Fred Williamson, Jim Brown, Pam Grier and Richard Roundtree? Directed by B-movie maven Larry Cohen no less! That made it into freaking theaters! I haven't seen it, it's probably decent enough but the fact that it even exists just makes me smile. I'm also not shocked it didn't do well. It may not be The Expendables 2 but still!

Releases around the same time as Independence Day, this is a more thoughtful, generally better regarded alien invasion film, that stars Charlie Sheen as an astronomer who discovers we are not alone and naturally, there is a conspiracy that comes up.

A somewhat obscure hip-hop reworking of 80's teen sex comedies. The film got middling reviews.

An odd blend of crime thriller, science fiction time travel and black comedy, this has Kylie Travis as a young woman who hitches a ride with an abusive husband (played by Jim Belushi) and his wife. The ride turns violent and she happens upon a man who has invented a time machine. In the process she is sent back in time and tries to stop the wife's murder from happening. I generally enjoy time loop films and this one sounds like it's worth at least one viewing, maybe.

Joe Pesci, in one of his last roles before retiring stars as a mob hitman who has to deliver the severed heads of eight rival mobsters to his boss. A mix-up occurs with some tourists and wackiness ensues. I can totally see why Joe wanted to retire if this is the crap he was being offered.


Formulaic thriller starring Harvey Keitel as a retired thief who comes out of retirement for one last score (see what I mean about formulaic?).

Orion snagged one last Oscar nomination before they bent out. This time, Peter Fonda's performance in this acclaimed drama about a beekeeper raising his two granddaughters and trying to help their drug addicted mother.

Drama starring Vince Vaughn as a a drifter who comes to a small town and gets involved with some of the locals. It was not well received.

Fairly solid thriller featuring Jim Belushi and Tupac Shakur as two dirty cops, one dirtier than the other who are looking for someone to pin a killing they committed on. Belushi is in fine form as the scumbag partner, Shakur is good in his role as the cop with a conscience and any time Dennis Quaid can score a good role, I'm a happy guy.

You know how sometimes you see a film on at about three in the morning and get into it? I mean really into it, to the point where you actively enjoy it and want to seek it out again, maybe buy it? Yeah, this isn't one of those times because this film is one of the few movies so bad that it actively pisses me off. More to the point, it's the kind of movie where you watch it just to see how badly it can piss you off. A bunch of guys on their way to a wedding end up in a bank robbery turned hostage situation, perpetrated by one of the groomsmen. It turns into a standoff with the FBI and the old trope of the Idiot Plot is given a thorough working over here, mainly thanks to an idiotic FBI agent played by Raymond J. Barry (this is no knock on the actor, he was great on Justified). The characters are annoying, Dean Cain is fine on TV but doesn't work on film, ditto for Andy Dick to a lesser degree as I don't really like him anyway, and the film is too violent to be the funny light comedy. it seems to think it is. It's not good as a hostage drama either which makes it a truly pointless waste of time, effort and money.

A romantic comedy nobody really cared about from a year not many cared about.

We end things with the fourth entry in the Phantasm series. Not the best one by a longshot, this is even more surreal than the first three, sometimes not even bothering to have much in the way of a plot. I sort of like it though as Angus Scrimm is great as always as The Tall Man; Reggie Bannister is fun in his role and Michael Baldwin gets some decent screen time in the lead. It's not a great movie and to be honest, you need to have seen the others to even make sense of this one (the same can be said for the recently released fifth entry) but it's not bad.

Aside from one Orion Classics release in 1999, this was the end for the studio until 2013 when they made a surprise return as a division of MGM dedicated to smaller films. The studio now primarily releases lower budgeted genre pictures that have small theatrical releases while also being made available via video on demand services. It's rather amusing to me that a studio that strove to be old school in its mentality towards the product has been given new life by new media. They have an interesting pack of films out now with more on the way.

Told you there would be a happy ending.

Assuming that MGM doesn't get into financial trouble.

Again.

Sort of a pattern with those guys.

Weird, really.

Okay, now I'm stalling. Until next time.

The Orion Files: 1992-1994

The majority of the films the studio put out from 1992 to 1994 were films that had been delayed, mostly from 1991. Lots to cover here, though little in the way of quality. In other words, this will be a quickie.

1992

First off is this poorly reviewed comedy/drama about doctors rebelling against the way war veterans are being treated at a VA hospital. It wants very much to be a Mash for the 90's. It isn't.

Woody Allen's last film for Orion is this black and white comedy that is a tribute to German Expressionist films as well as the works of Franz Kafka. Sporting the usual great cast, this got mediocre reviews and was the last film before Allen's reputation became tarnished by scandal.

From March of 1992, we go right to the end of the year with this drama about life in 1963 right after the JFK assassination. Michelle Pfeiffer scored a Best Actress nomination for this one, funnily enough the studio still managed to get some acclaim, even in bankruptcy.

1993

Initially meant for a 1991 release (as are most of the films in this post), this is a poorly received film about three married couples and their issues.

Not one of George Romero's best films but this Stephen King adaptation is still a pretty solid flick. Timothy Hutton plays an author who kills off his pseudonym that brought him great success, only for the guy to become real and start stalking him. The film is a quite faithful adaptation of the novel and there are some nice f/x bits here and there. I kind of like Needful Things (the other 1993 King adaptation that got a big release which we'll hit when I do New Line) better but this one is just fine with god work from Hutton in the dual role and Michael Rooker as a local sheriff. It is also the last good film you will read about in this post... That I have seen at least.

Comedy drama about two cons who kidnap a kid and the ensuing adventures that follow. It sounds sort of like a reworking of a flick called Cohen and Tate that Hemdale put out in 1989.

Amazingly enough, this manages to be worse than the second film. Robocop is back, (belatedly as this was supposed to be the studio's big summer of 1992 release) this time in a stripped down and kid friendly version (there is even a precocious kid sidekick in this one which I suppose is a step up from the killer kid in the second film) that killed the franchise (to say nothing of director Fred Dekker's career) stone dead. This one is just awful and I hate to say this about any movie, but the world might be a slightly better place if it had never been released.

1994

The tagline at the bottom says it all. An erotic thriller with a killer (as in an obvious twist) ending. It concerns a struggling actress who  is psychologically tortured by her acting coach.

They may have lost the rights to one film based on a 60's sitcom with The Addams Family, but they damn sure kept the one for Car 54, Where are You? Probably because nobody else wanted it. Slated for release in what  would guess was 1991, this was shot in 1990, re-shot a few times and finally crapped into theaters in early 1994. It was originally intended to be a musical but most of the music numbers were cut and in the end, it bombed massively.

Another refugee from 1991, this is an interesting sounding film noir piece with  a solid cast.

No, this isn't about a giant red dog (though it would have been an improvement). Rather, this is a very dark comedy that features Martin Short as a psychotic ten year old who torments his uncle, played by Charles Grodin. Another 1991 postponement, this was just a bizarre, misbegotten fiasco.

This romantic comedy (with an early role for Brad Pitt) was filmed in 1990 but not put out until the spring of 1994. The plot sounds convoluted, the cast is good and the film was ignored.

Coming of age drama set in the 60's (naturally) that was... Well, you can guess.

Lastly is another film that not only scored a Best Actress nomination at the Oscars, but frigging won as Jessica Lange got the nod for her turn as the mentally unbalanced wife of Tommy Lee Jones who plays a nuclear engineer in 1962. The film got some good reviews and Lange was praised. A nice end to a bad time for the company.

Next up, the last years of the studio, plus a happy ending.

The Orion Files: 1991

1991 was the beginning of the end as the studio shut down production and sold several films off to other studios (including one which might have helped a bit if they had been able to keep it which we will cover). They would file for bankruptcy at the end of the year, leaving a stack of films in flux which we will cover next installment.

Oddly enough, out of the seven films they were able to get out in theaters, five (the last one released does count as it was started by them) were more commercial fare than what they tended to put out.

 
The Terminator gets a shot of estrogen in this mild action flick that sees Gregory Hines as a tough Colonel tasked with taking down an out of control female android designed for deep cover work who has gone berserk. Dull and lifeless, even by the standards of dump month releases (though for this studio, every month would soon become a dump month), this did not get the year off to a promising start for the company.

As with the previous year, there was one shining star for the studio and, as with Dances with Wolves, The Silence of the Lambs ended up scoring a ton of Oscars including Best Picture. The studio's last collaboration with Jonathan Demme, this is one of the best movies about a serial killer I have ever seen. Jodie Foster is quietly awesome as the rookie FBI agent but of course, all is overshadowed (even Ted Levine doing some seriously freaky shit as the killer) by Anthony Hopkins and his iconic performance as Hannibal Lecter. Impeccable in all areas, this more than deserved the success it got. To date, it is still the only horror movie to ever win Best Picture. A wonderful, if somewhat bittersweet in hindsight in regards to the studio, success.

And it goes downhill in a big damn hurry with this unnecessary, sort of pointless sequel to the quite good 1986 original. Bryan Brown and Brian Dennehy are back, trying to foil killers once again with a bevy of special effects but what was fresh and fun in 1986 comes off as stale and formulaic here. Just a waste of time.
Even with the fun turn from William Sadler as Death, the sequel to the studio's 1989 hit failed to make much of a dent when released in the summer of 1991. In fairness, Terminator 2 was out at the same time and nothing was going to beat that, especially not an oddball sequel to a surprise success from a few years earlier. Got some decent reviews, though. Scarily enough, it might be the second best reviewed film of the year for the studio, behind The Silence of the Lambs.

This one is a hectic, poorly reviewed comedy about a date that takes a surreal turn as all sorts of wacky things occur. Needless to say, nobody was overly impressed with this one and it died a quick death upon being released.

Jodie Foster makes her directorial debut in this drama about a single mom trying to give her genius son some semblance of a normal life. Yeah, that's about all I got on this. Got okay reviews.

Finally, we have the one that got away. In an effort to save some money, Orion sold off the distribution rights for this one to Paramount. Actually, its even worse than that, Paramount had to step in and complete the film due to the financial issues Orion was going through and as a a result, Orion only got international distribution rights. The end result was a huge success for Paramount as the film is a fun take on the TV series (Raul Julia, Angelica Huston and Christina Ricci are perfect in their roles and Christopher Lloyd makes for a fun Uncle Fester) though it was rather calculating in terms of marketing. An M.C. Hammer song over the end credits? Ah, the early 90's.

1991 was a really bad one for the company, in spite of the success of The Silence of the Lambs. The next three years would see the gradual release of their held back releases as they were mired in bankruptcy. Until then...

The Orion Files: 1990

Like 1989, 1990 was another financially miserable year for the company with the sole bright spot coming at the end. Years of flops were catching up with the company and this would be their last full slate of films (three of which ended up on my worst of 1990 list). Let's take a look.

Nick Nolte is a private investigator looking into a murder in this poorly reviewed mystery flick. Loosely based on a case that took place in the 70's, this sports a decent cast, a script by playwright Arthur Miller and apparently not much else.

And here we have our first from my Worst of 1990 piece. John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley are a put-upon married couple under siege from unwanted house guests in this limp comedy.

Brian Dennehy takes the lead of a group of tough cops in this utterly formulaic action film. A good cast is wasted on a rather dull film.

Another failed private eye film, this has Tom Berenger in the lead and apparently a rather incoherent, uneven script.

I already wrote about this one so here is the way it was the first time around: Really dull, formulaic supernatural horror flick about a cop (Lou Diamond Phillips) who catches a killer and then has to contend with him after he has been executed.  The cast just goes through the motions and it's generally a really bad sign when the notion of the movie has been done better the previous year in The Horror Show and Shocker.  And for the record, neither of those movies is very good.

The only other interesting bit I could find on this is that it's one of the few later releases from Orion not released by their home video line. It was put out by Nelson Home Video (who also helped make it) for what it's worth. All of that one penny plus the lint in my pockets.

Alec Baldwin is a desperate criminal in this well reviewed thriller that also stars Fred Ward and Jennifer Jason Leigh. I've seen bits and pieces but it's pretty damn good.

Robin Williams does what he can with this less than inspired comedy about a used car salesman taken hostage by an unhinged man whose wife is cheating on him. Williams is okay, Tim Robbins is... there, sort of as the hostage taker. The film is uneven and just not that great.
Another one from the worst of 1990 piece cited above, this stunningly disappointing sequel to the fantastic original film does a disservice to Robocop, action films and is 118 minutes wasted.

Another terrible action movie, this has dull action, an unlikable hero and some unpleasant racism (as opposed to the pleasant kind?, you may ask to which I can only reply with a patient shrug) to go with a crappy script.

A good cast is in fine form in this well reviewed but forgotten crime film which stars Sean Penn as an undercover cop working in his old neighborhood. It got good reviews but was overshadowed by the release of Goodfellas. Man, 1990 really was a hell of a year for the gangster film, wasn't it? This film, Goofdellas, Miller's Crossing. Hell, even Godfather Part III isn't that bad, provided you skip over the scenes that don't have Pacino talking.

Dennis Hopper directs this loving tribute to classic old school film noir which stars Don Johnson as a drifter who gets embroiled in a fairly typical plot involving the classics of the genre: greed, sex and murder. As with most films in the genre, it's more about the journey than the destination and this is a fairly good, if somewhat overly long entry.

The lone bright spot for Orion was this solid western that ended up nabbing seven Oscars including Best Picture (at the expense of the far better Goodfellas; the very good Awakenings, the not as good Godfather Part III and in the "how the hell did this get nominated" category, Ghost). Seriously, how the hell did that score a Best Picture nomination? I'd probably give Road House a Best Original Screenplay nomination before even considering Ghost as Best Picture material!

Regardless, the film is a very nicely shot epic with some decent work from Kevin Costner, Graham Greene and Mary McDonnell and while it's certainly not the best picture of the year, it is still a pretty good movie.

This is an okay-ish comedy/drama starring Cher as an eccentric single mother and Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci as her kids. It's not terrible, but also not that great.

Lastly is the obligatory Woody Allen film. This time, Mia Farrow stars as a upper class housewife whose life is changed thanks to some magi herbs she buys. It got the typical reviews Allen's work tends to get and that's really about all I have to say about it.

Even with the lone bright spot of Dances with Wolves, 1990 was an abysmal year for the studio. They would only have seven releases the next year and at the end of 1991, they would end up in bankruptcy. But that is a tale for another day.

Saturday, November 5, 2016

The Orion Files: 1989

1989 was, to put it bluntly, a financial disaster for the company. Flops all year round with one or two bright spots. Still, a generally miserable year for the company. Let's survey the wreckage.

Orion started off 1989 with a minor bright spot in this affable, silly comedy starring Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves as two idiots who get hold of a time machine to help them pass a history class exam. Reeves and Winter make for a strangely likable comic duo and George Carlin is fun in a supporting role. Out of the fourteen films we'll cover here today, this probably ranks in the top five in terms of popularity. Funnily enough, this was initially supposed to be released by Dino DeLaurentiis' company DEG in 1988 but their own financial woes ended up getting the film sold to Orion. When we cover the sequel in 1991, I'll cover just how much of a bitch irony can be.

Interesting sounding drama from John Milius that features Nick Nolte as an American soldier who deserts his unit during World War II and ends up leading a tribe of natives in Borneo. Milius is a filmmaker whose work fascinates me and this film ended up getting some okay reviews but not much else. Gotta hand it to the studio for taking on ambitious projects like this, if only they had been successful more often.

On the flip side of the ambition spectrum, we find this. Speed Zone is Cannonball Run 3 (an alternate title is Cannonball Fever). I kind of liked the first one, I can even sort of tolerate the second one if it's about three in the morning and I'm about to fall asleep anyway, but a third one? Judas Priest! Even I have standards.

This is an obscure drama about a young man who ends up in a psychiatric hospital where his doctor (played by Donald Sutherland) also has some issues. This was director Hugh Hudson's first movie since the debacle that was Revolution in 1985. Needless to say, this didn't help him much.

Dennis Quaid does pretty well as rocker Jerry Lee Lewis in this biopic that covers his early carer right to the point where he married his cousin. That's about it, really. Alec Baldwin has a supporting role as Lewis' televangelist cousin Jimmy Swaggart but there just isn't a hell of a lot to talk about here. I think that's what happens when you do a film about a guy who was almost the next king of rock and roll.

This is really the best thing Orion put out in 1989 (I only say that because I haven't seen the Woody Allen film below which got good notices) and it's a damn shame it flopped as hard as it did. UHF is a bright, funny parody of oddball TV channels with some really funny gags and a terrific cast. Orion thought this film would save them from their financial issues. Spoiler alert: it didn't.

Cheech Marin and Eric Roberts star as hippies who flee New York to Central American in 1969 and twenty years later, come back and experience the culture shock that comes from being off the grid for twenty years. This one didn't get good reviews, it sounds pretty dumb and I really don't have the time or energy to find out if it is is or not. Let's move on, shall we?

This one is actually pretty solid as it stars Gene Hackman as a soldier trying to track down an escaped prisoner (played nicely by Tommy Lee Jones) before he carries out an assassination. Andrew Davis directed this one and it's got a lean, muscular pace to it that is helped by the energy of its cast and the script. The Package is a very good, underrated action movie.

Drama about life in the fifties as seen through the eyes of three young women.

This is a failed comedy from Monty Python Terry Jones about a viking and his adventures. I saw this once way back and don't remember much about it.

Woody Allen's 1989 contribution to the world of film was this very well received comedy/drama that follows two plotlines (Martin Landau plays a family man who feels guilt after he has his mistress killed before the affair can be discovered while Allen is a documentary filmmaker who is trying to find love). The stories dovetail into each other in the last scene and by all accounts, this is one of Allen's finest works. Got three Oscar nominations too.

The Oscar bait continued with this adaptation of a French novel (also adapted into Dangerous Liaisons in 1988 which took from the stage version more than the book). It was not as acclaimed as the earlier version.

Family film about a young girl who befriends one of Santa's reindeer. It got decent reviews, didn't do much at the box office though.

Lastly is this dark comedy about a spurned housewife (Roseanne Barr) who seeks revenge on her husband after he dumps her for a successful novelist played by Meryl Streep. This got mixed reviews (Streep and Barr were praised mostly) but flopped.

As noted in the opening, 1989 was a disaster for the company from a financial perspective (and if we're being honest, apart from, a few films, an artistic one) and things would only go downhill from there. I'll try to minimize the pain.

Coming as soon as humanly possible: Orion in 1990

About Me

I've been a huge fan of action, horror and comedy for as long as I can remember.